The Truth Hurts
by mabelreid
Summary: One shot Crossover NCIS and CM *****Spoiler Alert for CM 14x15 Truth or Dare**** McGee's concerned when Reid calls him with a bombshell announcement.


**_Disclaimer: As always, none of the brilliance we see on NCIS and CM is mine. _**

**_A/n this takes place two days after the events of the CM season finale. If you haven't seen or know the bombshell dropped at the end, turn back now as there are major spoilers in this one shot. You have been warned. _**

Timothy McGee stamped snow from his boots as he entered the lobby to Spencer Reid's apartment building. His nose and ears stung from the cold wind and he rubbed his hands together while hurrying up the stairs to the second floor.

"Hey," Spencer greeted after opening the door.

Tim looked his friend up and down as they entered the small living area. Spencer wore a wrinkled dress shirt with the sleeves turned up, mismatched socks and pants, with his tie askew at the neck. It looked like his friend hadn't slept and had run his hands continuously through his wavy hair because it stood up like he'd received an electrical charge. His eyes were bloodshot and two days growth of beard covered his chin and jaw.

"Hi, Spencer. You look like hell."

Spencer didn't comment. "Thanks for coming."

"You sounded terrible. What's happened?"

"Want a game?"

Tim looked at Reid's chess set with admiration. "Sure. You know I love your new set. It fits in perfectly with the room. This place reminds me of a dorm I once stayed in when I did a semester exchange at Oxford."

Reid smiled, but it was a terrible smile that made Tim think of a grinning corpse. He held back a shudder and sat before the black pieces. The chessmen were several inches tall and hand carved from soapstone and alabaster.

Reid took his place before the white pieces, and they began a silent game, which lasted until McGee said. "Spencer, why are you trying to distract me? You call me, ask me to come over as soon as I can, and you won't talk. What _happened_?"

Reid looked up from his last move, a strategy that earned him one of McGee's knights. His eyes were shining with unshed tears. "She finally said it, Tim?"

McGee's forehead wrinkled, and he stared at Reid with clear confusion on his bearded face. "Who said what?"

"JJ. She _finally_ said it, after fourteen years, three months and six days. She said she's always loved me."

"What?" Tim said, and for the first time, he ignored the game in favor of his friend. "How did –"

"She told me because a man pointing a gun at her head threatened to kill us if she didn't reveal her darkest secret."

"Wait." McGee held up a held. "Back up and start again."

"We had a case with a man who wanted to play truth or dare. The short version is that we were taken hostages with a victim and restrained." Reid held up his bandaged hand.

"Was going to ask you about that," McGee said.

"Cut myself sawing through duct tape with a piece of glass."

"God."

"Yes, well, the killer's other hostage was the judge on his hit and run case. He was furious that she didn't believe it was an accident and he wanted her to shoot another woman, or he'd kill her daughter."

"How did it go from that to him threatening to kill you and JJ?"

"Because JJ said she'd play the game with him. She was trying to buy us time. They played truth or dare, and she chose the truth. She tried to lie to him, but he saw through it and forced her to tell her secret."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"So, what happened."

"I got free and shot him with the gun in my ankle holster. He's dead."

"I assumed so, Spencer. I _meant_, with JJ. It can't be good because you look like you've lost your best friend."

"I have, Tim. JJ was my best friend, or so I thought. She's lied to me for years and tried to make up for it by making me godfather to her sons."

"Spencer –"

"Don't, Tim," Reid held up a hand. "I don't want to hear it. You know the story. I ask her out, and she brings along Garcia, then apologizes because she knew I thought it was a date. What was I supposed to think, Tim? I asked her; she said yes. I didn't ask with the caveat of "Hey, you want to go to the game with me, but because Gideon gifted me these tickets we'll just go as friends, and you can bring along a convenient third wheel as a buffer."

"Spencer –"

Reid continued as if he hadn't heard McGee and his voice began to climb and squeak as his emotions broke.

"Then, Georgia happens, and I become an addict. JJ knew about it from the beginning, and she helped me get through it before I found outside help. I thought that meant she cared, but she meets Will, and I thought it was just a fling. Then she announces she's pregnant and that Will was moving DC. I never thought I would survive the heartbreak, but I did and somehow went on with my life. She makes me godfather to a child that _should_ be mine, Tim. How do I reconcile that?"

"You can't," McGee said as he watched his friend struggle for control.

"Why did she do this to me? Why didn't she tell me years ago?"

"I don't know."

"You know what, it doesn't matter. I don't love her like that anymore."

"Are you _sure_?"

Reid turned furious eyes to his friend. Tim nearly flinched from the pain and the intense rage in those eyes. "My feelings are irrelevant because there's no way I'd do anything about it. JJ's married and she has two kids that adore their father. She made her bed, and now she has to lie in it."

"Spencer," Tim held up a hand. "I'm not suggesting you run off together."

Reid picked up his white queen, and for a minute McGee thought he'd throw it at the window behind them, then his friend deflated, and he put down his piece without making a move. McGee waited in silence, a skill learned from years of working across the aisle from Leroy Jethro Gibbs, until Reid made another move with his remaining knight.

"You don't understand, Tim," Reid said quietly. "I want to run off with JJ. I want to take her and the boys away from Will, go far away to where no one can find us. I want to marry her, make love with her, have a baby together and raise a family. I want to deal with diapers, runny noses, homework. I want to be there when Henry plays high school soccer. I want to be there when Michael starts school, and when they find the love of their lives and get married. I want to have a baby girl that looks like JJ, and I want to see her get married, or choose a career, or have it all if she wants it. I want to live, Tim, for once in my life. I want to _live_ without lying about my feelings. I don't want to suppress them anymore or transfer them to someone else as I did with Maeve, or Lila, or Austin. Is that _too_ much to ask?"

"No, Spencer. You deserve to have everything I have with Delilah and the kids. I wish I could make it happen for you."

"I know, and you're a great friend."

"Thanks, now can we stop with the mushy stuff and figure out what you're going to do while I beat you."

Spencer finally smiled, then tossed back his head in a laugh. "You think you can win? Hasn't happened so far, Tim."

McGee smiled to see his friend pulling out of his unhappiness with life, at least for the moment. "We'll see because I'm feeling _lucky_ today."

"Why today?"

"Because Morgan said something resembling "Tardis," this morning and Delilah thinks she's going to be gifted.

"She's fifteen months old, Tim. Are you _sure_ it was Tardis?"

"Yes," McGee said confidently and made Spencer laugh again.

"Well, if she is then I hope she has your talent with computers and her mother's looks."

McGee narrowed his eyes at Reid, who smirked at his friend. "That's funny, Spencer."

"I call it as I see it."

"Are you going to sit there and smile like the Cheshire Cat of Alice in Wonderland, or are you going to make your move?"

"If that's the way you want it." Reid moved his bishop and said, "Checkmate in three."

"Damn it," McGee exclaimed. "_How_ do you do it?"

"A magician never reveals his secrets."

"Are you saying that you beat me with sleight of hand, because if you did – "

"Is that a threat, Special Agent McGee."

"Yes. Remember that I worked for over a decade with Tony DiNozzo. I know the meaning of "revenge is a dish best served cold."

"Hm, you're quoting Khan Noonien Singh over a chess game."

McGee rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you know that phrase originated from the French in the eighteenth-century book "Mathilde," by Eugene Sue. The writers of The Wrath of Khan stole the idea and made it a Klingon proverb."

"It's a good thing my team isn't here, or they'd jump on you for sounding like me when I go off on a tangent."

"Oh, believe me, I know," McGee said with a grin. "You know Gibbs."

"Yes, I do. He head-slap you recently?"

"No, but then, I'm not Tony."

"That's true. How is Tony?"

"Still in Paris with Tali. Here, let me show you a photo he sent."

Reid looked at the picture on McGee's cell phone and smiled. "She's beautiful."

"Yes, and fluent in three languages, thanks to Tony keeping up with her Hebrew skills."

"He sounds happy."

"He is, but not as happy as he would be with Ziva. I wish they'd admitted their feelings long ago."

Reid looked at the chess board and sighed. "Sometimes things get too complicated in life, Tim."

"Are we talking about Tony and Ziva or you and JJ."

"It doesn't matter. I won't come between JJ and Will, if only for the sake of Henry and Michael. They deserve to grow up in an intact family. I can't be the reason they break apart."

"What about JJ and her feelings?" McGee played the devil's advocate.

"It's her fault we arrived at this point. She had a million opportunities to tell how she felt before Will. I was too shy to make the first move, and she knew it. I'm not trying to excuse my part, but it is what it is."

McGee shrugged. "If anyone understands what it's like to be awkward, geeky and shy, it's me. I don't blame you."

"No, but I blame myself for missing my chance. Now it's too late."

"Spencer –"

"Don't say it, Tim. Please."

"All right. Let's forget about it for now. You want to go get lunch."

"Yeah, I could use some food, but will you wait for me to shower and shave?"

Tim stood and patted Reid on the shoulder. "Yeah, you look like you've been on a week's bender."

Spencer chuckled. "Thanks for your honesty."

"Just keeping it real."

"Fine, make yourself comfortable. If you want to read," Reid gestured around the room. "There's _no _shortage of reading material."

"I can see that. I think I'll check in with Delilah and make sure she and Abby are having fun with the twins."

"How's Abby?"

"Much better now that she's back from Europe. She's devoted her life to helping Sister Rosita and the nuns."

"Nice."

"Go," Tim urged him in the direction of the bathroom. "We'll talk about Abby later."

"Sounds good to me. Thanks, Tim."

"You're welcome. Don't worry, Spencer. You'll get through this."

"Thank God for good friends," Reid said and let McGee tug him into a back-slapping embrace.

"Yep, and it's about time you realized it, SSA Reid."

Reid threw back head and laughed like he hadn't laughed in years. "You always have to take the last words, Tim."

"I _am_ the writer."

"Yeah, I remember. Now, call Delilah and let me take a shower."

"I'm not stopping you," McGee shot back.

"See, always the last word."

McGee watched his friend walk away and wondered if there'd come a day when Spencer would get what he so richly deserved – a happy life.


End file.
